You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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