Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
