Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
