Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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