its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
