I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
