just tell him i said nine months
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As shirtless as possible
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
