8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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