I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
