cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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