But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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