Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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