dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
