i barfeds in our rink
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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