I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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