I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Someone signed my nipple.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
