does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have tasted many bathrooms
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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