:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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