Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
