So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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