so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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