And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
