2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
