bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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