he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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