i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
