Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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