I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
