he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
