Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Holy sore nipples Batman
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
