I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
