No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
