sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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