Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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