i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
