in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hippo gnu deer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
