I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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