If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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