My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
