We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
