We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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