I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
