So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
