ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
