I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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