you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
