I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
