I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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