are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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