well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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